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Moms, remote controls and washing machines

I'm back to tell the adventures of my mother, this time in my new house in Milan.

After a fine day to regurgitate the most several fragments of red berries cereal with milk, into action my helper.

Among the elements of his cunning plan, in pole position: to change the sheets!

The machine starts to turn ... washing, spinning and all .... in the meantime I malatuccia sprawled in bed, I look around in search of the remote control .... bah ... can not find it anywhere. Yet strange, I just seemed to have left it on the bed!

fact, my memory is not infallible is flawless ..... was on the sheets and linens remained, following them relentlessly into the washing machine.

Bello wash and clean, it works even better than before!

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Close Encounters of the Third Kind

... Directly from my night adventures cum MiniOne ...

Once upon a time ..................

Halfway through the journey back home, after being nonmiricordodove nonmiricordocosa to do, I found myself in a dark wood, since the streets to get to my domus very dark and very wooded are, the straight way was not yet fully lost, fortunately, so my mind even the remembrance, that made All Saints' Day street day.

The sinuous curves on the horizon, quando il mio assonnato ma guardingo occhio intravvide un movimento nell'ombra della notte...più di un movimento...per l'esattezza si trattava di un movimento alquanto peloso e ingombrante.

SUS SCROFA BARBARUS

Un gruppo di questa rarissssima specie animale si aggirava presso i miei cari sinuosi tornanti: mamma cum prole.

Sempre nel mezzo del cammin pe tornare a casa, dopo essere stata da qualche altra parte a fare qualche altra cosa, tranquilla tanquilla e ancor più assonnata assonnata, eccomi arrivare cum mia machina fedelissima, proprio sotto alla domus. La Mamma Scrofa Barbara questa volta proprio davanti al mio naso. Frenata. Sgommate. Fugaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Il lettore può democratically choose between different versions for the ending of this compelling story:

Something Like Jib Jab

Chronicle of a Death Foretold? The grandmother's foolproof methods

All before the trip began in Hungary, so much MOOLTO time before now.

Chapter 1: My mother sees, for the second time in a week, something small, fast and gray Presegno take a trip, or from mobile to stop watching television the chest next to the sofa, which is in turn next to the dining table, which is trying to eat my mother, her eyes glued to those of the father and one of the many news that act as digestive true now.

The first time my mother had tried to inform the father of the fact he had received in exchange grunts more similar to bovine than to human. But the man of this house is like that. The second time, this time, the grunts, sighs, resigned to give way in which they feed my mother a little hope.

Chapter 2: Here is the genius of my father: Place a trap made of wood, as we will discover more later traitor effectiveness, the only place the house near the mobile-TV in which the already narrow passage now requires the unfortunate passers-by to throw himself on the sofa to overcome the obstacle free.

Chapter 3: Can not miss, in this true story that seems more and more an excerpt of the film "Mr. Bean", a little niece really curious and never stop, besides being always ready to disobey. Emma. Coming to play a bit 'with the grandparents and aunt, in particular, now enriches his young 4 years of experience with a new, "emmoso" episode. Intrigued by the operation of the trap, suddenly his finger close to the bait. Amen.

La trappola viene tolta, la bestia che si nasconde nell'oscurità torna ad essere un miraggio frutto delle traveggole di mia madre.

Fine primo tempo: l'allegra famiglia va in vacanza, la sottoscritta rincasa dopo una settimana di meritato riposo.

Inizia il secondo tempo.

Capitolo 4 : Io e la mia amica Laure guardiamo la tv. Di nuovo l'analoga scena: un movimento repentino ma notato dagli occhi investigatori della mia amica. Adesso è una certezza: d'altronde, non c'è due senza tre.

Chapter 5: Log on stage my cat Matisse, but instead seek foreign presence, his sense of smell leads him to cuddle cat on the sofa first intercepted by his whiskers.

Meanwhile, the film continues, but the background noises make us make the dumb, and turn your head 180 degrees ... magically the basket of bread seems to be populated by an illegal nightclub! Then I take Matisse, literally throw it on the basket, and spin! as the cork of a bottle of champagne a small mouse flies through the air, while in the meantime, the cat, frightened (?!?), escapes through the maze of home.

Chapter 6: Stroke of genius: put the basket of bread in front of the fridge. We wait. Noises. But still nothing. I'm going to see: the bread was made a living: with small claws goes to sneak into the slot next to the fridge. Too quick for our sleepy reflexes.

being too big, the bread gets stuck between the fridge and the wall.

Chapter 7: The same scene: the bread again move away from the fridge, but nothing.

Chapter 8: Genial even greater reuse the famous trap. The charge. I do not know why, but the spirit of my grandson has crept into me and ... wham, what a pain!

try again with the only thing that we find in the fridge: Lindt chocolate, delicious than the milk and nuts.

We load the trap and placed beside the bread and chocolate. After a few moments we feel a little wiggle. We look with disgust faces, ready at the sight of blood topos. Our expressions are stunned when in front of us there comes a trap intact. But chocolate and bread ... gone! That fool, refined a mouse! Meanwhile, we must retrieve the chocolate, otherwise an invasion of ants (and I would say that would not be exactly the case). I can stick to the enterprise with a stove.

Chapter 9: Throw nibbled chocolate, try it all with just the bread. Furby fooled us twice. Despair!

Chapter 10: The holiday of mine is coming to an end. Coming tomorrow ... right: and waiting for them, and a mischievous mouse, there's quite a clogged toilet! Daughter? Ignored!

Shape A Cake Into A Piano

As usual in summer conditions, any magazine / newspaper / TV / flyer seeks to advocate for readers / listeners on average "round" foolproof methods for getting in shape in just 14 days! or how to regain its line with simple physical exercises toning in just 20 days! not to mention the various companies that offer consumers a wide range of "clinically proven", "the assured result", "fruit of the ancient oriental wisdom," the prices so high that, in case that fails the "essence with slimming extracts of bamboo and juniper aroma ", the customer would find the wallet depleted in any case have to discard the habit of stopping at McDonald's trust.

Council so to all those who prick up their ears when they hear about diets, reaching the dressing room with anxiety at the thought of discovering that the beloved 46 is magically become a 44, which stuff themselves salad and green foods, hoping to silence your stomach, try the infallible, proven, super

"Grandma's Recipe Baby healthy and beautiful! "

If I were a grandmother and you were my little grandchildren obese I could certainly make you lean and slim,

it first What would you cut your hair,

then I take you for a long walk in the forest,

until hunger no longer alive,

and tired and finally tired in a cell will shut up,

and as in the tale of Hansel and Gretel I would give even a crumb,

because for a physical high and dry,

must really stop with ham,

"fat makes fat" this will be your motto,

da ripetere sempre con fare dotto,

e se sarete proprio bravi,

con questa dieta ferrea del cibo non sarete mai più schiavi,

come il Siddharta farete digiuno,

per diventare un giorno qualcuno,

e imparerete via via,

cosa vuol dire accetare sempre le caramelle della vecchia zia,

zuccheri e grassi verranno aboliti,

so by evil tongues will no longer injured,

and if this remedy will not work,

then an arrow will fulminerà,

and sticks and roasted,

still can not stop eating your favorite meals!

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Confessions of a mature

This is a place of liberation, relief, excitement, contentment, happiness .... say a little 'deserved after a month of intense study! Goodbye forever in high school, new life ... new world now eh yes, but where?!? Still do not know, but now I really do not matter. One step at a time: I left out of the nest today, tomorrow I will learn to fly ...

A very special thanks to everyone who supported me and my stress they have endured all these days ... as I would have done without you? I'd probably be crazy ... A strong hug Dodin, Laure, matte, mum, david and my sister, who attended this morning to my question!

And now ..... open up the dance!

Gifting Property Family

The hit parade of the worst road meetings

Tomorrow begins the final exams, the first test ... To distract myself for a moment I decided to devote myself to a little thing that I had already come up with some 'time ago ....

THE WORST HIT PARADE OF MEETINGS ROAD

1. Cyclists: that snow, hail, or there are 50 degrees, they are always there! Especially after a curve or a bend
2. Bees: drive strictly in the middle of the road at a speed that borders on the ten miles an hour, and if you try to pass them, rather than widen the opposite lane
3. Scooters: The rules of the road for them is an unknown entity: sorpassano a sinistra, destra, sopra, e sotto, e la distanza di sicurezza è un optional
4. I patentati dagli anni 30: no comment
5. Le persone che viaggiano costantemente con le frecce lampeggianti: sei sicuro della svolta solo quando le frecce non lampeggiano più
6. Quelli che guidano in mezzo alla strada, o zigzagando a destra e sinistra, più precisamente, gli ubriaconi
7. I gatti neri che attraversano la strada solo e solamente quando sei a dieci centimetri da loro
8. I pedoni: la loro razza è immune da each observation, then, are always right
9. Truck drivers! The more the vehicle becomes bigger, the brain shrinks who is leading
10. bulldozers road, or those who drive at 90 when the limit is 50, and whose left hand is permanently stuck on the horns honking

    
    

    
    

    
    

Snot Like Clear Mucas At 30 Weeks Ptegnant

Look at here the face of someone who has just finished his last day of school!

Ferris Bueller Cheetah Vests

Pros and cons of a bandage on his arm stressful

Let's start with ....

AGAINST :

1. E' stressante
2. Mi tiene immobilizato tutto il braccio: non posso grattarmi le punture di zanzara, non posso scrivere, non posso lavarmi da sola, non posso mangiare con la destra, non posso aprirmi gli involucri di pizza surgelata, non posso prepararmi da mangiare, vestirmi è un'impresa, aprire la cerniera dello zaino forse ancor di più...
3. Devo tenerla ancora per una lunghissima settimana e comincia già ora ad assumere uno sgradevole odorino di piedi
4. La mia povera manina suda tantissimo, ho caldo e non posso bagnarla
5. Ho i riflessi di una tartaruga gigante a cui hanno fasciato un braccio
6. Mi sento menomata, anche nel cervello

PRO :

1. .......
2. .......
3. .......
4. Perhaps the only pro is that I feel a bit 'more justified to enslave people around me, of course are a poor sickly, but I will have to raise my level of selfishness in some way!

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Revenge of Captain Hook

My contemporary experience has taught me to never underestimate the mottos and more throughout the series of "nonsense" so dear to the old lady of country X intends ...

That I will take up today is "misfortunes never come alone ...".

There once was a young girl, very passionate about handball player who practiced in the gym of his school. His favorite role was to defend the door with his body on the team. One fine day, or even a bad day we should say, a brute her opponent took the ball towards our heroine, who tried to protect the port from a goal to secure their disadvantage: the right hand leaned decidedly toward the ball, but instead be blocked by his unerring grip, the racing car past the defense, pulling with it a finger of the young girl. Which, by limiting at first only to lament the pain, he realized later that his ring was slowly - but not too - Taking the form of a sausage magically blue, was getting short, the fair copy of the index finger of a fellow that had shrunk so small by giving himself a hammer.

The young girl spent two days and going to the hospital, then came up with a bandage over his right hand, which included the entire arm. No need to remember that, of course, the young man wrote in his right hand, which can not do more for at least twenty days ... The fact that at the very end of this period is approaching school-leaving examination another story ...

But it is not finished everything here: to logic, should another catastrophe undermine the psychological stability of the protagonist. Out of the way you feel, is now of the view: the organizer of this cruel world, or rather the will to which irrational man not interested in anything (in terms Schopenhauer), has also decided to sacrifice the left eye of the poor , sfiaccato by some kind of allergy ...

Now, we hope that there is also "no 2 without 3 "!!!!

Signed: the left hand of the undersigned

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Red attracts not only the bulls ....

Mentre l'ignaro umano si accinge a compiere tutta quella serie di abitudini a cui si è affezionato dopo anni e anni di sperimentazine e consolidamento delle quali, una minaccia, o meglio una serie di minacce minano le sue mediocri quanto altrettanto labili certezze...

Vediamo come.

Possibile minaccia numero 1 : Vi trovate nell'abitacolo della vostra auto sportiva splendida splendente, rosso fuoco e con una sagoma da urlo! Trasportate un passeggero nel sedile affianco al vostro. Il quale, accennando a chiudere la portiera, rimane paralizzato a osservare un punto nella parte anteriore di questa. Voi vi voltate verso di lui con un ghigno di soddisfazione, tipo - Ehi, quanto spacca il mio bolide, neh? - quando il Your host will reciprocates with a grimace of disgust, when you begin to think about whether you should politely invite him to continue his journey on foot now or throw it out of the car in the race then, but he always invites you to look better then fixed, denoted by a pointing finger and shaking .....

only then that you notice in your "fireball" hospitality found a young family of wasps that had decided to build a small hotel abusive ....

potential threat number 2: From the series: this car is not a zoo or maybe ...... yes?

you just come out of your car - yes, always the same - when lost in contemplation of his nose - aggressive but elegant - you notice a small black dot, jumping merrily on your vehicle as if it were on the trampoline at the carnival. After the experience & the wasp hive you approach with great resignation, think, and now that will never be this time? This is a rare jumping spider hairy and plump. Give it a lesson, sure of your savoir faire.

potential threat number 3: After a fantastic journey finally parked your car - now you know quite well -. It 'time for the careful study of the side: look with wide eyes roaming through the red lacquer ... yes, at some point here once again haunting the dot black. Nope, must be hallucinating this time. But so, just to be sure, you approach the same. Him again! The jumping spider seems to be sincere cheerful fun of you, that you look at it with a mixture of disgust and murderous rage. Now it really reached its end.

remains one final question: the same but it was really funny guy in addition to wasps or the vital impulse has led to the spring nesting even spiders??

Invitation To Pastor Anniversary

Committee saves rabbit. That is: how did the kangaroo Easter.

Easter is approaching ... and that poor rabbit is again engaged arduously frolicking in the fields for all the world to spread the eggs sweet chocolate for the children dependent. The Easter Bunny must own antiquated: you imagine that you stumble into his own beard now, after centuries and centuries, is the longest of her slender little body and rickety tending to anorexia? We must do absolutely anything to help ... ... to change the chess tradition, for example!

Yeah, why do all this hard work should be just the poor rabbit? What does a bunny with eggs? Just a thing to think about it ..... a hen would surely be relevant, it would be a bit more 'facilitated by the fins, however, certain that she's not that much better ...

It takes an animal more serious, stronger but also nice and not scare the children. So, unfortunately, will be deleted from the lions, tigers, bears, snakes, cheetahs, gorillas, platypus, chameleons, sharks and rhinos. 3 superfinal

remain: the hippopotamus, the penguin and the kangaroo. Who will win

centuries of hard work inhumane?

Mr hippo : Sorry kids, but my massive amount smash all the eggs! And then I'm lazy, you can not rely on me!

Mr Penguin: I am small and helpless and then the heat would kill me in April! I should andare in giro chiuso dentro a un freezer!

Benissimo: il nostro vincitore è il signor canguro! Lei ci sembra davvero perfetto: salta come un coniglio, è un pelino più grosso il che rende la consegna più veloce, ha perfino le sue sembianze e poi......creme de la creme....ha anche una sacca in cui custodire le uova!

Aggiudicato!

Cost Of Retaining Wall Per Square Foot

Survey on cotton candy pink

Here's a bit 'of ideas that came to mind when considering the cotton candy (pink)

• someone says does veni er diabetes, it is good, you can pair the Great in, they sell it at the carnival , has spun ...
• someone else says, that feeling is especially annoying to have the appicicaticcio around the mouth which then spreads through mitosis in the hands and then across the face ... comuqnue is good
• others continue to question how to do to spin cotton candy, but soon lay their inquiring spirit and surrender, describing the art of the proceedings as "a mystery of life", is intended to be passed down geneazione generation of only the most daring lunaparkari

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Beware the scorpion

Influenced by aggressive power and creative force of the sign Scorpio personality is complex, driven by compelling passion, imaginative and individualistic. The natives of the sign are deep and penetrating insight that captures the immediacy with overt or hidden meaning of every situation, and makes them realize, far-sighted, often almost mediumistic in their perceptions. And the bandits' superficiality, every nuance of their mode of being and feeling, which excludes mediation between reason and instinct extremists in all, I am led to drastic solutions, irreversible choices that sometimes are harmful primarily to themselves. But as their emblem, which pierces the animal itself, do not hesitate to bring up to the extreme reactions dictated by their temperament, intense and absolute. Live their relationship with the outside world in a state of alarm, which prevents the conflict, as they are ready to seize any more secret motivation of others' behavior, to control the situation and use all their most effective strategies to secure their power over others . Being fundamentally introspective exteriorize their emotions, if ever, often violently discharged, after having long brooded in their minds. Very reactive, and capable, often mistaken for even the most provocative comuni divergenze e drammatizzano lievi contrasti che potrebbero essere facilmente risolti con un atteggiamento più morbido.

Queste difficili personalità hanno però anche notevoli pregi: una forza d’animo eccezionale che li aiuta a superare qualsiasi prova nella vita, una visione intelligente e anticonvenzionale delle cose, ambizione e grande senso di responsabilità nei confronti degli altri. In qualsiasi loro espressione sono totali e danno anima e corpo in tutte le loro iniziative. Naturalmente in amore riversano tutta la loro carica istintuale e tutta la loro drammaticità . Non esistono sentimenti delicati o tiepidi coinvolgimenti per gli Scorpioni e al loro magnetismo sessuale è difficile resistere. Con loro si vive sempre in un clima di assoluto che impegna su ogni piano i loro partner.

La donna scorpione è una prima donna dello Zodiaco. Narcisista, orgogliosa, melodrammatica in ogni sua manifestazione, esprime in ogni situazione di vita la sua natura estrosa e incontenibile. Ha però un’intelligenza accorta e indagatrice che le consente di non scoprire mai completamente le sue carte e di non lasciarsi mai cogliere alla sprovvista dagli eventi o dalle reazioni altrui. Perfettamente consapevole del suo fascino, oltre che della sua forza di carattere, utilizza queste sue chances come strumenti efficacissimi per farsi strada nella vita e realizzarsi nel lavoro e in amore. Non esiste difficoltà che la spaventi e di fronte a un traguardo professionale impegnativo o a un uomo che recalcitra non recede di un passo fino a che non si è assicurata la vittoria. Ma nemmeno questo basta a tranquillizzarla e se le situazioni le appaiono troppo monotone, se la sua esistenza diviene troppo statica per i suoi gusti, provvede lei a scatenare nuovi conflitti, a inventarsi nuove passioni da coltivare, a coinvolgere chi le è accanto nel continuo approfondimento dei problemi. Non è facile riuscire a condividere i suoi ritmi di attività e la sua resistenza psicofisica mette duramente alla prova chi non arriva al suo livello.

Certo, non è una donna che lasci intravedere orizzonti placidamente rassicuranti: polemica, contestatrice per natura, ama andare controcorrente e suscitare anche qualche perplessità con la sua spregiudicatezza e la dialettica pungente. E poi è una dominatrice che impone senza mezzi termini le sue regole e, a lasciarle campo libero, prenderebbe in mano le redini della vita altrui. Ma viverle accanto è stimolante, perché con lei nulla è scontato e ogni esperienza acquista l’esaltante impronta della unicità. Dotata di straordinario sex appeal ha un notevole potere sugli uomini e tanto più su chi ama. Ottima organizzatrice del ménage domestico è una madre intransigente e possessiva, attaccatissima ai figli, anche se non ostacola la loro autonomia.

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A new danger on the road

Da ieri Italian streets (for now only those I think) will be confronted with an unimaginable great new danger: a fire blazing red fireball ........... led by yours truly!

Finally I can remove that humiliating P that covers me almost rear view from November ...

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Etcetera, etcetera

The vocabulary of the Italian language the word "etcetera" is defined as follows:

Voce formata dalla locuzione latina "et caetera" la quale
significa "e le restanti cose, ed altro" e si usa, a modo di avverbio, quando
nel discorso si omette alcun che avente connessione con ciò che si è detto
innanzi, e facile a sottintendersi da chi legge od ascolta; o quando
s'interrompe un'enumerazione, o la citazione d'un passo, di una sentenza, di una
formula, di parole altrui, e simili...

Nel mio vocabolario la parola "eccetera" assume più o meno un significato analogo, ossia è quella parola che si aggiunge in fondo a una lista quando non si sa più cosa dire ma si vuol dar the impression a lot to learn. Short characteristic of the language of lazy, are you talking about things like: - This picture represents the cornerstone of painting manettiana, Cosider also because they lack pre-printing, or were dormant, all the elements that characterize the purely impressionist painting like Monet, Renoir, Degas, etc., etc. -. Crafting a speech provided with quotes, technical words, etc., it gives the impression - and stay right in the theme of Impressionism - to be well aware of what you are talking about even though in reality there is nothing to deflect the Talk to us in the direction more congenial. The great

"Dell'eccetera concept" is just all specialists in this or that other - or assumed - and it was understood very well also and especially by politicians who use public speaking to stun the audience with frasone smart, elaborate , how vain.

The key issue to keep in mind is that any human being with a minimum of words and cunning that has to do is open his mouth to drain from this discourse as a slow, tedious and time consuming effort to circumvent any object passes between him and the goal it has set itself. It enriches the monologue with a lot of "etc." placed at the right point there is nothing to cover the obvious shortcomings that should questioned all quell'impalcatura of words and sounds as useless as sources of general agreement and ovation.

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The harsh law of the post

To the delight of my many fans will show you the seven sacred ground rules that make a simple Post a superpost.

1. The most important of all: apply (ie: waste of time) to develop a post-only and only if you have nothing else to do (with "from do "I also mean all that flood of semi-intensive activities such as filing her toenails, hanging around the house with his robe very grandmother-duck or even follow the corner of the buzzing of the fly obsession with the secret hope that this position is precisely the point where you, with clever move, to end his ordeal with a sweet journalist on the head)
2. Not having anything to do not even have anything to say, the perfect starting point for an original post and Extremely-in
3. The real secret of a successful post consists of beating about the bush and rubbish that lengthen the text of several lines (as much as possible, giving the impression of having something really interesting to communicate to posterity), but beware: everything must be absolutely out of the repetitiveness and boredom (no moralizing, alive the superficial!)
4. Some archaic words and / or courtly are accepted here and there, but only within the limits of discretion , just to pretend to be at least educated (careful not to fall into the conceit vocabolaristica!)
5. English or very words "yeah" when dosed with caution give the place a sense of belonging to society of youth nowadays (see : occhei, surely the most stylish almost onomatopoeic ok)
6. The irony is the key to everything: the player will be suspended so in doubt whether you are healthy with a vein of humor or really dumb at all, without pointing directly to the second possibility
7. As the last: it is required to enter into the very least post a picture or animation that still attracts the best eye of the reader as hypnosis bringing it to read up - all '- last - word.

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A brutal New Year (from animals)

The Berlin atmosphere is extremely heis already foreshadowed in the early evening of the fateful day arrived Dec. 31, 2006 ... after a hard day's drag our heavy luggage (my heaviest of all ... of course) at home from the airport to the u-bahn, we find ourselves wandering the streets of the overcrowded Stadt of people whose highest aspiration was to shoot rockets, firecrackers, & co, totally ignoring the fact that your feet could be in middle of their shady business.

The most unlucky little road had its own rocket launcher!

Our goal is the Brandenburger Tor, the city gate, where it says all young people come together to celebrate the German capital - including beer and .... more - the new year.

Then we, brave warriors, Italic, and Italian-deutsch deutsch, we follow the mob. We note that everywhere in the Polizei green - much more elegant blue trivial to us - blocking roads leading to our destination.

This is a challenge!!

you walk with a park completely surrounded by high fences. We watched a bunch of guys trying to do something and then a voice - Italian .... I had doubts? - Urging the crowd like a bull at the bullfight: it was open a crack in the impenetrable wall. So what can we do? We also follow a breakneck those fools who ventured into the unknown.

But another obstacle is presented to us before: other barriers, and this time no drilling. Our brain is now reduced to pure instinct and not feel like crap even thinks about it for a moment: all those things that climb up to our weight metal that bend backwards so that cross is almost a business.

Just when our second foot touches the ground, the sound of the Scissor Sisters came to our ears .... accelerating our race to one of the greatest live concerts - it's free (at least for us) - I've ever seen!

sweeps the security personnel who tries in vain to stop, while I look disgusted her left hand where the barrier has cut his murderous disappunto con una firma rosso sangue....sono rischi che si corrono...

Riusciamo infine a mischiarci tra la gente (c'era più di un milione di persone), arrivando fino alle prime file, da cui possiamo vedere distintamente il cantante che si destreggia sul palco in mutande, mentre noi brindiamo a questo 2007 che è partito bene e non può che continuare bene...